#75 Go to Another Country with Chan Mi {Life LIst Wednesday}

Chan Mi and I have been friends since we were in 7th grade and I (along with another friend) was in charge of showing her around the school when she first came. Throughout high school we were inseparable and we stayed in close contact while we were in college too. Now, however, we live on opposite sides of the world and we don't get a chance to talk too often.

As I said in the previous post, I went to Germany to see her last year. While I was there we also went to Brussels, Belgium and Amsterdam in the Netherlands. It was quite an adventure.

At the top of the Atomium in Brussels

In a courtyard in Germany

#55 Eat Belgian Chocolate in Belgium {Life List Wednesday}

 Last November I went to visit my friend Chan Mi who was studying abroad in Germany. It was a lot cheaper to fly into Belguim, so she came and met me there and we spent the day exploring the city of Brussels. There was so much chocolate everywhere. I made sure to get some for myself and take some home for my friends and family. Even better than the chocolate was the Belgian waffle I had before we got on the train to go to Germany. It had bananas and chocolate and was beyond amazing. My mouth is watering just thinking about it. 

Chocolate Mannekin Piis statues

Inside a candy store

The amazing Belgian waffle

Until I Danced With Murderers

He made a joke about the genocide. He didn't mean anything by it, he was just trying to be funny, but still, it cut through me like a knife. I was sharing about my trip with someone at my internship. He didn't mean any disrespect, he just wasn't too familiar with the genocide in Rwanda-and I shy away from sharing too many of the details unless I'm asked more questions.

The Hutus attempted to wipe out the entire Tutsi population and in 100 days in 1994 they killed 1.1 million people.

That's the short of it, anyway. When you go more in depth, however, you learn the brutality of the killing and that 1.1 million was the number killed, but the effects go so much deeper and millions of others are living with physical or emotional scars from having been victims or perpetrators of the genocide.

But thankfully that's not where the story ends. Thankfully the country has learned to both accept and give forgiveness that can only come from God. I don't say that lightly. As a human being I am aware of how hard it is to forgive someone for a small infraction, and can barely comprehend what it would take for me to extend forgiveness for rape, murder, or destroying my home or livelihood. And yet these people have learned to do this, and to rely on the grace that only God gives, and then rebuild. There is beauty springing up from these ashes.

The last two weeks at church since I've been back I've sat next to people who haven't sung during worship. Don't get me wrong, I love my church, and there could have been a thousand reasons why those people weren't singing, but when you've been in a place where the entire church sings and celebrates when a coffee pot is donated or you've danced to songs of God's grace among people who have killed others and those who have lost family members, homes, and had been attacked themselves, you gain a new perspective. There was a small part of me that wanted to shake the people next to me and  ask them why they would not want to sing aloud to the God who gives immeasurable forgiveness and makes beauty from destruction. But they haven't seen what I've seen.

I suppose I have a new perspective after coming back. I believe there is an incredible strength found in the hearts of those in Rwanda and I applaud their efforts in creating and continuing to improve the country that they have now. Even more so, though, I stand in awe of a God who can reconcile and redeem.

I have to remember, though, that the people that I rub shoulders with daily have not had the same experiences and that my perspective did not change until I danced with murderers.

#44 Climb a Volcano {Life List Wednesday}

Okay, you may or may not agree that I have completed this, but if I'm cool with crossing it off, that's all that matters.

When I was in El Salvador about six years ago, we stayed at this compound at the top of an extinct volcano. The only climbing we did was walking around from one part of it to another, though it was a pretty steep walk to parts of it. Also, the crater is actually filled with water now and we went swimming in it.

Not my photos-Taken by others that were on the trip, but I'm not sure who

Side note: I think that's where I got my first parasite. TMI? Deal with it.


I was also in El Salvador about 11 years ago and got to climb on top of some of the lava that hardened into these big rocks that appear in really random places. I will not be showing picture of that for 2 reasons.

#1 They were taken with a film camera and my scanner hates me
#2 I have really bad hair

So I say I completed this. In my book swimming in a volcano and sleeping on top of it is just as good as climbing it from the bottom.

What I've Learned Lately: On Serving

Last Wednesday I went back to helping with Circl3, the high school ministry at my church. I've been leading a small group there since fall of 2009 when my girls were in 9th grade. It's weird that now I am a leader of a group of upperclassmen! Anyway, I took a few months off from serving because my life was feeling a little bit out of control. When I started helping my first year I loved it. And then my second year I started a new job and graduate school and toward the end of the school year, going to Circl3 started to feel like a burden. It was another responsibility piled on top of what I had already. Now don't get me wrong, I love hanging out with my girls, but giving up a weeknight started to get taxing for me.

I started getting really annoying with the small things. Students would be texting during worship or talking during the message and I wanted to scream at them (note: I never did). I assumed it was just a problem with everyone else. What I didn't realize was that I had entirely too many things on my plate and I was simply burnt out. I could no longer focus on the ministry aspect of what I was doing because I was sleep deprived and running through the long list of things I still had to do in my head.

In August I made the decision to take a break from Circl3. I had started my internship, and was still juggling class, work, job searches, and other things as well. Something had to give. I felt like I was letting my girls down, but I knew that at that stage I was useless to them. When I told our volunteer coordinator that I needed a break and explained the situation, she was gracious. They always tell us that we need to first care for ourselves. I told her and my girls that I would possibly come back in the spring, but inside I did not believe that.

By October a strange thing had happened. I had begun to seriously miss both my girls and the ministry itself. I felt that I needed to go back. So the plan was made that I would come back after Rwanda. My girls were way more excited than I thought they'd be. This may sound sappy, but when I got back on wednesday it felt a little like coming home. The break gave me a chance to refocus and coming back I remembered all of the reasons that I had started volunteering in the first place.

So today I guess I'm simply writing to share a little of what I've learned over the last couple of months.

• Rest is okay and necessary at times.
• I'm thankful for a church that values its volunteers and encourages them to take time for themselves when they need it.
• Working with students is one of the best things in the world.
• My girls are amazing!

With some of my girls last Christmas

#63 Go on an African Safari and #54 Hold Orphans in Africa {Life List Wednesday}

I know I have not done a Life List update the last 2 weeks since I was in Rwanda and then was trying to do all of the updates afterward. This week I figured I'd share 2.

#63 Go on an African Safari

This is a newer addition to the list, but never thought that I would get to do it so soon. This was one of those far away "one day" dreams. In Rwanda we got to go on an amazing safari. I think my favorite part was seeing the elephant because it is so rare to see them. Only about 1 in every 20 groups get to see one. This guy was about 70 years old.

#54 Hold Orphans in Africa

When I wrote this I did so thinking that it would happen in an orphanage on a missions trip. However, I got to not only hold small children who had lost one or more parents, we also got to meet with people who were around my age who lost parents when they were very young and have learned how to do life on their own. I'm glad that this one did not go exactly as I thought it would, because I would have missed out on hearing the stories of these individuals.

Mission Rwanda: The End

Sorry for the lack of photos-Saturday morning I packed up the dslr and just used my small camera, and there really wasn't a lot to take photos of. 

Saturday was our main day to do some shopping. In the morning we went over to this market where they had some tourist-y kind of things. I had a blast because I got to barter-which I love doing. I never would have bartered with the people we worked with in the villages because they made their things and they really needed the money. This place was more of a tourist kind of place, so I had no problem doing it- and I was able to get some really cool stuff. A few things I picked up included jewelry, wooden figurines, and I collect keychains from the places I go, so I made sure to pick up one of those and I found a really cool apron-I can say goodbye to that ugly white one.

The market

Then we went back, grabbed lunch, and headed to the airport. Our flight got moved up almost 2 hours, which we did not know and we barely made it. I won't bore you with all the details of the travel, but we traveled for about 24 hours and went from Kigali, Rwanda to Entebbe, Uganda to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia to Rome, Italy to Washington D.C. By the end I was so glad to be on land.

At the airport

On the flight from Entebbe to Addis Ababa I ended up sitting next to a guy named Wilbur who was from Uganda and was headed to Israel for a work/sightseeing trip. We talked for almost the entire flight. He wanted to know about what we had done in Rwanda and then we eventually started talking about our lives. He asked me several questions about my faith and my church, which was neat because he did not seem to have a positive view of Christianity and wanted to know why I love church so much. He told me about his work (he works in water conservation and during the genocide he was tasked with pulling bodies from the lake between Rwanda and Uganda for a short time), his kids, and his wife. He asked about whether I had a boyfriend back home and I told him no, that I am too busy (my typical excuse). He grabbed my hand and said "No, you are a woman who deserves to be admired and appreciated in all you do" and made me promise to work on that part of my life when I got home. Honestly, it was such a blessing to have him to talk to, because I get often get anxious on planes and had been very anxious on the flight from Kigali to Entebbe.

When we landed in D.C., I was glad to be heading home, but even now I still feel as though I left a part of my heart in Rwanda.