I continuously have great intentions of writing a deep and meaningful post-there is a lot on my mind that I want to talk about.

But then I look at my to do list.

And well, the internship, class, work, job applications, and my sanity all have to come before the blog.

So I'll post something deep and meaningful after I stop looking like this.

Photo from here.

#15 Record a Song {Life List Wednesday}

When I was younger (i.e. until I was 16 or 17) I wanted to be a singer. I thought I was going to make it big in the music business. Thank goodness that did not happen.

This was another hold-over from the old list I made when I was younger. I got to record a song that I wrote for a music class in high school. Unfortunately I kind of hope that no one ever hears the thing. I wanted it to be a kind of raw, acoustic composition with just my voice, guitar, and some light percussion. My music teacher had just gotten a new music editing program and lucky for me *sarcasm* decided to try it out on my song. It is horrifically auto-tuned. Think about what it would be like if Britney Spears had a baby with a robot and it became a singer.

Yeah. That bad.

Leading worship on a missions trip to Jamaica

#12 Donate Blood More Than Once {Life List Wednesday}

I honestly don't remember putting this on my list. I do remember that I heard that a low percentage of people actually return to donate blood more than once. I wanted to make sure that I returned. I think I've done it 3 times. I have to wait to do it again for a year because of where I've traveled.

Sorry, no pictures. This is a bit of a boring post.

Hesitate

This song makes me melt.

I thought I'd share it.

#11 Go Ziplining {Life List Wednesday}

On our senior class missions trip we went to Tepic, Mexico. It was a really cool trip, but we spent the week living in a rather crude concrete building on the hard, concrete floor. The boys actually had to sleep outside under an overhang. At the end of the week, though, we got to take 3 glorious days in a nice hotel on the beach in Puerto Vallarta.

One of the days we went on a canopy tour which is a zipline tour through this forest/jungle kind of area. It was such a blast! And it didn't hurt that all of the workers were very attractive and would come save us when we got stuck on the long lines. I got stuck on one and the guy came swinging out to get me and told me that he loves his job because he gets to rescue beautiful women all day. Sure, he tells that to all the girls, but I still blushed :)

Here's to Happiness

It’s been a stressful couple of weeks. I love the Happy Lists that Naomi posts over at the Rockstar Diaries. I decided that this would be a good time to remind myself of a few simple things that make me terribly happy.

1. Pumpkin Spice lattes from Starbucks
2. Morning runs when the air is just cool enough to sting when I breathe heavy
3. Baking pumpkin cookies
4. Snuggling with my dog, Spencer
5. Autumn candles (Right now I’m burning Moonlight Harvest from Yankee)
6. Dancing around to old {and new}boy band music (love me some Backstreet Boys)
7. My almost complete degree completion plan
8. The countdown to graduation on my computer (88 days!!)
9. Wearing scarves
10. Knitting

Who I Am

“I’m surprised to see you back,” he said. “I would have thought you’d be married with your first child by now.”

“Tom, it’s only been four months since I’ve seen you last!” I exclaimed. I was back substituting at a school I frequent for the first time this school year. He and I will often talk when I sub there and he was joking with me. It was funny, but it also further illuminated something that I’ve been feeling lately.

I, like many women my age, am stuck in between two ideals. On one hand, I am supposed to have a career and an education. I am expected and I desire to go far in both of these areas. At the same time, I am expected to get married and have a family, which is also something I desire. I am learning though, that focusing on accomplishing both things is impossible.

Mathematically you cannot give 100% of yourself to multiple different things.

Right now I am in the midst of my last semester of graduate school, which includes an internship and another class. And I’m a substitute teacher on the days I’m not at my internship. When I finally get a chance to relax after completing homework, working out, and prepping for my internship, I just want to put sweatpants on and crash either in bed or in front of the TV. I certainly don’t have the energy to get all dazzled up and ready to go out on a date or check eharmony, or whatever other method of husband hunting people have recently suggested.

I’ve always been a people pleaser. I think that in my decisions for my life I give some consideration to what others will think or say. But that quickly gets exhausting. I’m tired of it. I know what I want from my life and I know the One who is holding my future. And He’s the only one I should be worried about pleasing.

I am a graduate student. I am a substitute teacher who is not looking for a permanent teaching job. I am a sister, daughter, and friend. I am love by the God of the Universe. I am single. And I am okay with that.

#6 Wear a Tiara to an Event {Life List Wednesday}

This item on the Life List was obviously something from the really old list I made in middle school. I was thinking about how I hoped to get all dolled up sometime and the tiara would make me feel super pretty. When I was editing the list I was going to take this off, but realized that for our Jr/Sr Banquet (our version of prom) my senior year I wore a piece in my hair that is probably as close to a tiara as I'll wear since that no longer appeals to me in the same way it did ten years ago. 

Do You Remember?

Do you remember where you were on September 11? I sure do.

Ten years ago I had never been to New York City. I had a desire to go, but knew that was where the 10^th graders went on their class trip and it wasn’t too far off. I had only been on a plane for one trip to El Salvador in April of that year. I was a fairly happy, normal 12 year-old with 4 close friends and was mildly obsessed with the Left Behind books. If I had to describe my identity on September 10, 2001, it would have been as a Christian, a middle schooler, a Pennsylvanian, an aspiring musician, a member of the puppet team (really), and maybe, if pressed, an American.

I was in 7^th grade. We were sitting in Bible class first period when the first plane hit the World Trade Center and we had no idea. We could hear commotion through the thinly divided rooms and I remember it sounded like the class next door had the television on. I was a little jealous that they got to watch a movie.

When the bell rang at 9:00 we walked into the hallway and the other section of 7^th grade was just coming from science class, where we were headed. In passing we heard conflicting stories. A plane hit the Empire State Building. Terrorists were going to bomb the White House. And a flurry of other stories in between. I stopped at my locker and put my Bible away and got out my science book. I walked into the classroom between 9:01 and 9:02, details I never thought I’d even consider important.

Yesterday when reading over the timeline for that day I realized I had seen the second plane hit the World Trade Center at 9:03. My science teacher, Mr. Buck, had the television on and I remember looking up and thinking it was some kind of replay of what my classmates had already told me had happened. I asked if I could go to my locker and I got my Bible.

I had no idea what I was looking for. I just knew from going to a Christian school from kindergarten that all of the answers I would ever need were in there. I opened to Revelation (remember, I was obsessed with the Left Behind books) but just paged through without really reading anything. I just felt safer having it with me.

The rest of that day is mostly a blur. Mr. Buck left the television on even after they made an announcement to the teachers to turn them off, so we got to see some of the additional footage. I think we may have seen footage of the Pentagon as well, just as the bell was ringing to go to third period. My mom worked at the school and I remember scooting down to hear about what all was going on. She tells me that she was so thankful to be in the same building as my sister and I that day.

In many ways I feel as though that day made me an American. I had little concept of the country outside of my own state, but I knew that day that I was inexplicably tied to millions of others who called this country their own. And when our Pennsylvania governor left to become the head of what would later be the Department of Homeland Security, I felt an even stronger bond. I bought the T-shirt with the flag on it. I learned the patriotic songs. I asked questions. Eventually I was able to understand all of what happened that day. All of the loss, the horror, and the sacrifices made in the midst of that tragedy. Even today, though, I cannot claim to understand the magnitude of what happened for the people in New York, DC, and those on those planes because I was not there and only saw them on a tiny television screen. 

Sometimes putting on new shoes and working on a paper can make you forget that there are 2 inches of standing water in your basement. And sometimes it can't.

#2 See the Walk of Fame in LA {First Life List Wednesday}

For spring break a little over 3 years ago, Heather and I went to visit our aunt and uncle who live in California. We think they're pretty awesome (Hi Auntie Marie and Uncle Bret). They aren't too far from LA, so on our way from the airport to their house we got to go see the Walk of Fame in LA. It really wasn't too spectacular in my opinion. In fact, I only took one picture and that was of an alcoholic beverage that has its own star-not because I enjoyed the beverage, but because I thought it was a little ridiculous that it had its own star. We did have a lot of fun in front of the Chinese Theater, though, with all of the hand and foot prints of the different stars. 

**The first 3 photos are from Heather's camera

All About the Life List

You know how I said I'm ambitious?

Several years ago I started a list of things I want to do before I die-like any 12 year old, right? Anyway, I found this list about four years ago and had to laugh because so many of my interests have changed. I went through and took out the ones I no longer cared about doing, but left the ones that I had already completed. I worked on it for a year or so and occasionally I'll make some changes to it and update it, but it grew to 100 things I want to do before I die. Some are relatively small, while some are a bit more ambitious, but it's a lot of fun trying to plan how I'm going to accomplish the next thing on my list.

About a year ago I discovered the Mighty Girl website and loved that Maggie called her list a "Life List" It gives a much more positive connotation to the idea of such a list, don't you think? I like the idea of making goals for my life rather than focusing on death.

So far I have completed 26 of my 100 things on my Life List-and may complete up to 6 more before the new year. I figured if I'm going to post about the list, I should probably recap some of the things I've crossed off.

I'm thinking of spotlighting a Life List Wednesday for a little while. What do you think?

So Far So Good

As of early afternoon on Thursday, the odds of me going to Rwanda were not very good. I was honestly certain that it would not work out. However, God did provide the initial funds for payments 1 and 2 (for me they were due at the same time since I was added later). If you are still interested in giving, my next payment is due at the beginning of October. You can go here to donate (use my name: Shannon Madara). 

I don't know about you, but I am really excited to see how God provides for my trip and uses me and the rest of the team in Rwanda. Stay tuned for more updates.

As always, feel free to email me with any questions.

Photo from this website with some quick facts about Rwanda.